Cheek Diagram Requested | A Comedic Bible Devotional on Matthew 5:39
Matthew 5:39 has Jesus saying, “Turn the other cheek.” But He never specified which cheek. And that feels important.
Are we talking upper cheeks? Lower cheeks? Emotional cheeks? Because I have four to six cheeks on any given day depending on how I’m holding trauma.
And if someone slaps one, how do I know which one to rotate? Do I pivot? Bend? Offer a gentle glance over the shoulder and say, “Go ahead, this one too”?
This is the kind of ambiguity that splits denominations. But maybe that’s the point. The verse is not about location. It’s about limitation. How long can you act like Jesus before you start swinging like Peter? Turning the other cheek isn’t weakness. It’s spiritual jiu-jitsu.
Questions for the Week and Strong:
Which cheeks are you leading with, and are they Christ approved?
Are you reflecting Christ or just mooning your enemies in protest?
This Week in Prayer and Strategic Cheek Deployment:
Lord, I am willing to turn the other cheek, but please guide the rotation so I do not accidentally start a second offense. Amen.
Disclaimer:
We make jokes about faith because we take it seriously. This is satire, not doctrine. For real guidance, consult a pastor, a Bible, or your grandma.
Nothing here replaces real church, real discipleship, or real spiritual counsel. We aim to engage minds, not bind consciences.