John the Baptist must have been really into basketball because he was dunking everyone in the Jordan River.

Lot’s wife looked back and accidentally seasoned dinner for everybody.

They say Jesus is going to ride in on a white stallion, but for me, a brown thoroughbred will do it every time.

If I were to die a martyr, I’d ask, please do not let me die of old age.

Jesus did not pick disciples. He ran a spiritual pick and roll.

Jesus says judge not… but nobody ever clarified the hamster situation.

When I became a disciple nobody mentioned I might have to give up bread. Mmm bread.

Judas couldn’t reach the rim, so he reached for silver.

Excerpt: Daily bread is cute until Ezekiel starts cooking.

Welcome to Genesis 17, covenant orientation. The dress code is faith, and the sign up policy is personal.

Would you prefer a halftime sermon or halftime show?

Do you ignore red flags or collect them?

Are you seeking revival… or a second serving?

Imagine asking, “What am I missing?” and realizing it’s obvious.

Moses dropped his staff and Israel dropped their jaws.

Peter the rock… or Peter the ball hog?

Ever turn around and accidentally become a condiment?

So did God die… or just close early for the Sabbath?

Which part of your life would sell out for stew?

Discipline is hard. Fire pits are harder.

What if God’s way of talking is jump scares?

Are you raising Jedi knights or Sith lords?

Some biblical truths are hard to take in.

Are your excuses contagious?

When obedience looks crazy, do you still start hammering?

Spiritually poor? Or just emotionally on clearance?

Is your soul tasting flat or extra hoppy?

If life’s a figure drawing class, how’s your pose holding up?

Was salad underwear really the best plan?

Imagine God serving breakfast and you’re like… “Got anything else?”

What’s holier than obedience? Probably not that much skin.

Do you let your faith breathe or do you cap it too early?

Who is your Babushka and are you pretending not to see them?

Jesus said nets. We showed up with accessories.

Is your faith resting… or sticking to the pan?

The Bible is fairly clear on how to do our church greetings.

Jesus said turn the other cheek. He did not provide a diagram.

Faith is not furniture friendly.

When did praising God get so serious?

Faith is not furniture friendly.

Ever wonder if God tried country music on Pharaoh first?

Was Jesus contractually obligated to pose?

Still renewing grace like a license?

Ever make your tithe look bigger using monopoly money?

Faith, hope, love… and one.

Romans 7 sounds suspiciously like country radio.

Bread temptation? Amateur hour. Should have led with chocolate.

What if repentance came with a splash zone?

Turns out killing God on a cross does not send the message you think it does.

Ignoring a floating zoo feels reasonable until it starts raining.

Martyrdom sounds bold until old age enters the conversation.

A suspiciously clean faith and what it might be missing.

Some memories were never meant to be reused as seasoning.

Repentance gets complicated when the problem is still attached to you.

You can’t fake a sprain when the Ref made your bones.

Did anyone else learn anatomy from the Bible by accident?

Jesus’ first miracle was just divine bartending?

Some people paint miracles. Some people slice them.