Was Jesus Contractually Obligated to Pose? | A Comedic Bible Devotional on Isaiah 53:2
Isaiah 53:2 says the Messiah had no beauty or majesty to attract us to Him. Translation: Jesus was not walking around looking like a Renaissance candle commercial. No halo lighting. No slow wind machine. No disciples whispering, “Hold still, Lord, the light is perfect.”
If every painting of Jesus were accurate, He must have sat for portraits more than He preached. Long hair. Perfect lighting. Soft eyes that say, “I forgive you, but also I moisturize.”
The Gospels never describe what Jesus looked like. Not once. They describe what He did. He healed. He taught. He flipped tables. He sweated blood. He died. He rose. Apparently heaven decided His face was less important than His faithfulness.
We paint Jesus because we want something familiar to look at. God gave us something harder. Someone to follow.
Questions for the Week and Strong:
What version of Jesus would get rejected from your church lobby?
If Jesus showed up looking historically accurate, would you recognize Him or call security?
What part of your faith has been aggressively retouched?
This Week in Prayer and Crimes Against Art History:
Jesus, forgive me for turning You into a screensaver. Cropping out the hard parts, boosting the saturation, and calling it discipleship. Please delete my edits and walk straight out of the frame. Amen.
Disclaimer:
We make jokes about faith because we take it seriously. This is satire, not doctrine. For real guidance, consult a pastor, a Bible, or your grandma.
Nothing here replaces real church, real discipleship, or real spiritual counsel. We aim to engage minds, not bind consciences.