Terms of Service

Last updated: April 24, 2025

Introduction:

Welcome to That’s Not How You Christian, LLC (“That’s Not How You Christian,” “we,” or “our”). We are genuinely glad you’re here. Whether you are browsing, shopping, or just wondering what kind of theology would inspire a “Don’t Mix Fibers” shirt (Leviticus 19:19), you are in the right place.

By using our website or making a purchase or contribution, you agree to these Terms of Service. If you do not agree, you are free to leave peacefully. No hard feelings, and no awkward altar calls.

1. Use of Our Site:

You agree to use That’s Not How You Christian’s website only for lawful purposes and in accordance with these Terms. Basically, play nice: don’t break any laws or do anything that would harm our site or other users. This means no attempts to hack the site, no fraudulent orders, no posting of offensive content (like in product reviews or comments, if those exist), and no violating anyone’s rights. 

You also agree not to use our site for anything unlawful, abusive, fraudulent, or weirdly invasive. This includes using bots, scraping data, spamming, impersonating us (or Jesus), or doing anything that disrupts the site’s operations.

We reserve the right to terminate or restrict your access if you violate these rules. You can also stop using the site anytime. Ending your access does not cancel past orders. Those will still be processed or refunded according to our policies.

Customer Accounts: We do not require customers to create an account to browse or make a purchase. However, our store platforms (Shopify and Squarespace) may offer optional login features, such as a one-time code sent to your email or a customer portal to view past orders. These are managed securely by the platforms themselves and are not required to use our site. If you choose to use those features, you are responsible for keeping your login info secure and up to date. Please do not share your password, even with your pastor.

Termination: We may terminate or suspend your access to our site or services if we believe you have violated these Terms, broken the law, or done anything shady. You are still responsible for any orders placed before your access ends. You may also stop using our site at any time, no exit survey required.

2. Products and Orders:

Product Listings: We do our best to describe our products accurately, but we cannot guarantee that every description or price is completely free from errors. We are human, and sometimes a typo sneaks through. If an item is accidentally listed at the wrong price, such as something that should cost a thousand dollars showing up as one dollar, we may not be able to honor that price.

Prices and availability may change from time to time. However, once you place an order, your price is locked in. Our system begins processing orders right away. If a pricing error slips through and your order goes through, we reserve the right to cancel the order and issue a refund if needed. This helps protect us from large losses, especially in cases where multiple items are mistakenly sold far below cost.

Order Process: When you place an order or contribution, you will provide certain information (see our Privacy Policy to learn how we handle that). We reserve the right to refuse or cancel any order if something is wrong. For example, if we suspect fraud or if a product is mispriced or unexpectedly out of stock. If we cancel, we will refund any amount you paid.

Payment: All payments are processed securely via third-party payment processors. You must provide valid payment info and you authorize us (and our payment processor) to charge the amount for your order or contribution. Prices are in USD, and applicable sales tax will be added for orders shipped to Virginia (we gotta follow the tax laws).

Gift cards are digital-only and cannot be returned, refunded, reloaded, or redeemed for cash (except where required by law). They are redeemable only at our main store at thatsnothowyouchristian.com and cannot be used directly through TikTok Shop, Instagram checkout, or any other third party platform.

Contributions: When you make a contribution, you are voluntarily supporting our work. That’s Not How You Christian, LLC is a for-profit business, not a nonprofit organization. Contributions are not product purchases, are not tax-deductible, and do not include dividends, profit shares, or ownership. Your support helps us make comedy. Contributions are non-refundable. (See our Contribution Policy for more details.)

3. Third-Party Tools and Integrations:

We may offer access to third-party tools or integrations (like analytics, social media links, or payment processors). These tools have their own terms, and we are not responsible for what they do. Please read their privacy and service policies before using them. We may also introduce new tools, features, or integrations in the future. These will also be subject to these Terms, just like everything else on the site.

4. Shipping & Delivery:

Shipping: We currently ship to U.S. addresses only. You can find more details in our Shipping Policy, which is part of this agreement. Our products are made to order, which means we do not keep inventory sitting in a warehouse waiting to be boxed. Once you place an order, it usually takes between two to seven business days for production, depending on the item. After that, shipping typically takes three to six business days within the United States.

We cannot guarantee delivery by a specific date. We wish we could control the postal system, but unfortunately, we do not have that kind of favor. If there is a significant delay, we will do our best to keep you informed.

Title & Risk: Once we hand your package off to the carrier, ownership and responsibility for the shipment officially transfer to you. This means that if the package is lost, damaged, or delayed during shipping, the risk is technically yours.

That said, if your item arrives damaged due to a production issue or something that clearly happened during shipping, please contact us within 30 days of receiving it. We work with Printful, and in most cases they will reprint and reship the item at no cost once the issue is confirmed.

If the package is marked as delivered but goes missing afterward, we are not able to guarantee a replacement. We will do our best to help if we can, but we cannot replace items that are lost or stolen after they have been successfully delivered.

International Shipping: We do not currently offer international shipping. If that ever changes, we will update this policy and include details about duties, customs fees, and the rest of the worldly complications that come with global commerce.

5. Returns & Refunds:

We want you to love what you ordered. If something is not right, we will do our best to make it right.

Returns: Because each item is made to order, we do not accept returns or exchanges for incorrect size selection, buyer’s remorse, or similar situations. We also cannot accept returns for digital downloads, gift cards (which are final sale, non-refundable, and not redeemable for cash), final sale items, or anything sent back without contacting us first. All items must be returned in their original, unused condition. Items returned without prior authorization may not be accepted or refunded. Please contact us first so we can review your request and provide the correct return address.

Digital Downloads: These are final sale and not eligible for return or refund. We are not responsible if your device cannot open or display the file properly. Please make sure your tech is ready before you buy.

Damaged or Misprinted Items: If your item arrives damaged or misprinted, please email us at support@thatsnothowyouchristian.com within 30 days of delivery. Include your order number, a description of the issue, and a photo of the damage or misprint. A photo is required for us to submit a claim with our fulfillment partner. If the issue is confirmed, we will either reprint the item or issue a refund, depending on the situation.

Missing Orders: If your order never arrives, contact us as soon as possible. Do not wait. Claims for missing packages must be submitted within 30 days of the expected delivery date. We will work with our fulfillment partner to investigate and find a solution.

Refunds: If a refund is approved, it will be issued to your original payment method within 10 business days. Depending on your bank or credit card company, it may take additional time for the funds to appear. Original shipping fees are typically non-refundable. If a return is approved, we will provide the correct return address and instructions. Please do not send items to our business address.

If the shipping address entered at checkout was incorrect and the package is returned, you will be responsible for the cost to reship the item to the corrected address.

Contributions: These are not refundable under any circumstances.

6. Intellectual Property:

All content on That’s Not How You Christian, including text, images, graphics, logos, and designs, is either owned by us or used with permission. It is protected by intellectual property laws. You agree not to use, copy, reproduce, redistribute, or exploit any part of our website or products for commercial purposes without our written permission. That means no bootleg That’s Not How You Christian merch, no reposting our content without credit, and definitely no claiming our work as your own.

User Content:
If our site allows comments, reviews, or other user submissions, you retain ownership of what you post. However, by submitting content, you grant us a license to use, display, modify, and distribute it as part of our website or marketing. We may remove any content that breaks the law, violates these Terms, or just doesn’t fit the vibe. Please do not post anything offensive, unlawful, or that belongs to someone else.

If you send us creative ideas, jokes, memes, or unsolicited brilliance (which we always appreciate), you agree that we can use them however we like, without owing you anything. That includes no obligation to credit you, keep your idea confidential, or pay you unless we make a separate written agreement.

7. Disclaimers:

We provide our website and products as is, without any guarantees or warranties of any kind. This includes express warranties and implied warranties such as title, non-infringement, merchantability, or fitness for a particular purpose. In short, we are not promising that everything will always work perfectly or meet every expectation.

We do our best to keep things running smoothly, but we cannot guarantee that the site will be uninterrupted, free of errors, or compatible with every browser or device. If something goes wrong, like a technical issue during checkout or scheduled maintenance that catches you at the wrong moment, we are not responsible for any resulting damages.

8. Limitation of Liability:

To the fullest extent permitted by law, That’s Not How You Christian (and its owners, employees, etc.) shall not be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages, or any loss of profits, revenues, or data, arising out of your use of the site or purchase of products or contributions. Our total liability for any claim arising from these Terms or your use of the site shall not exceed the amount you paid to us (if any) for the order or contribution related to the claim.

In plain English: if something goes wrong, our maximum obligation is to refund what you paid us; we’re not responsible for things like lost opportunities or weird consequential damages. Some jurisdictions don’t allow certain liability exclusions, so some of these limitations may not apply to you (for example, this doesn’t override any consumer protection laws that might entitle you to additional remedies).

9. Indemnification:

You agree to indemnify, defend and hold harmless That’s Not How You Christian and our partners, employees, and affiliates, from any claim or demand (including attorneys’ fees) made by any third-party due to or arising out of your breach of these Terms or your violation of any law or rights of a third-party. Basically, if you do something that gets us sued by someone else, you’ll cover our costs.

10. Severability:

If any part of these Terms are found to be invalid or unenforceable, the remaining provisions shall remain in full force and effect.

11. Entire Agreement:

These Terms, along with our Privacy Policy, Contribution Policy, and any other legal pages linked here, make up the entire agreement between you and That’s Not How You Christian. They override any prior communications, whether verbal or written.

12. Governing Law:

These Terms are governed by the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, without regard to its conflict of law principles. By using our site, you agree that any disputes related to these Terms or your use of the site will be resolved in the courts located in Harrisonburg, Virginia.

13. Waiver :

If we do not enforce part of these Terms, it does not mean we are giving up our right to enforce them later.

14. Force Majeure:

We are not responsible for any delay or failure to perform that is caused by things beyond our control. This includes natural disasters, acts of God, war, terrorism, labor strikes, power outages, pandemics, internet outages, postal service breakdowns, supply chain chaos, or any other unexpected chaos. If one of those things happens, we will do our best to keep your order moving or get in touch.

15. Changes to Terms:

We may update these Terms from time to time. If we do, we’ll update the “Last updated” date above and, if the changes are significant, we might notify users via email or a notice on the site. Continued use of the site after changes means you accept the new Terms.

If you don’t agree with the changes, you should stop using our site (though we’d be sad to see you go).

Changes to the Site or Services: We may modify, pause, or stop offering certain products, services, or features without notice. We try not to do this mid-cart, but if it happens, we’ll do our best to let you know.

Service Suspension or Removal: We reserve the right to remove or suspend any part of the site, any feature, or even the entire site itself without notice. We try not to do that casually, but in case of emergency (technical, financial, or spiritual), we may have to hit pause.

16. Contact Us:

Questions about these Terms? We are here to clarify anything (except the meaning of life — still working on that one).

Email: support@thatsnothowyouchristian.com

Mailing Address:
That’s Not How You Christian
313 Neff Ave Ste C
PMB 2002
Harrisonburg, VA 22801
United States